Still Here

I'm still alive and I still plan on running the 50K again this year.

I'm in a weird spot though mentally and physically. I feel stronger than I did at this time last year, I'm definitely lighter (by about 8 pounds), but at the same time I feel as if I'm not as in good of shape when I do my long runs. I suppose it's possible that I'm simply better at mid distances, but I'm not convinced. Maybe I just haven't put myself through the pain yet. I mean really and truly tested myself. Crap, I haven't even hit 20 miles yet, though I just did 15 yesterday with the last 3 being an up-and-down of the CCC trail at PD Canyon.

I think I just convinced myself to run balls-out at the Mayor's Half Marathon here in Amarillo on the 22nd. And while it won't be indicative of an an ultra, it will put some needed discomfort into a run. It will put my body in a place where my mind will need to take over and finish the job. Plus it'll feel good to get that competitive feeling back. And not just compete with the other runners but with myself. With the runner I used to be back in the fall of 2011. I want to know that all the miles I put in this summer were worth it. In short, I need to see some payoff, man.